gigglesugar -- Byte-sized comedy.

Creepy-Ass Sci-Fi Valentine Is Killing Me

GiggleSugar — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 15:00:00 -0800

Valentine's Day is long gone, I know, but this is too unworldly to keep to myself. What lunatic actually thinks that an alien pointing a gun at his love, while robotically chanting "you must be mine" and "obey me," would make any gal swoon? He's gotta be joking, but even so, this is more nightmarish than funny. Run, Lisa Peters of Dublin, run! No, don't booty dance— run!

Rejected Valentine's Day Cards

GiggleSugar — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:00:00 -0800

Preprinted holiday cards — why can't they be honest for a change?

Remember Valentine the Piglet?

GiggleSugar — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 10:00:00 -0800

How could we forget the piglet who wears her heart in her hair? Yep, our gal was born with a prominent heart-shaped birthmark just before Valentine's Day and we now have video footage of this oinker in action. See Valentine try to outsmart an itch that she just can't scratch, wag her itty bitty tail, and hiccup here and there. She's a pig alright, but — cue Stevie Wonder — isn't she lovely?

Get Flash to see this player.

Kids Speak Up About Love

GiggleSugar — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 14:00:00 -0800

They may be young, but kids know a thing or two about love— or at least they think they do. Some of these answers are pretty darn insightful and others somewhat miss the mark, but they're all entertaining. But I'll give Bart my digits any day; he's my kind of date!

What does falling in love feel like?
"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." — Glenn, age 7

How can someone practice kissing?
"You can have a big rehearsal with your Barbie and Ken dolls." — Julia, age 7

When is it okay to kiss someone?
"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. If nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." — Kally, 9

What are some ways to make someone fall in love with you?
"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." — Del, age 6
"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me." — Bart, age 9

How does a person decide whom to marry?
"You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with him and tails means you try the next one." — Kelly, 9

And the cuteness continues, so

Bleeding Heart Cupcakes

GiggleSugar — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 12:59:00 -0800

How about some bleeding heart cupcakes? Chocolates are divine, but these goth cupcakes look delicious, gooey, and wonderfully morbid!

Santa, Is That You?

GiggleSugar — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 12:30:00 -0800

Valentine's Day is the Claus's second favorite holiday.

Source

Sexy Beast of the Day: Hugh Grant

GiggleSugar — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 12:00:00 -0800

Hugh Grant may have a reputation outside of the movies for being a bit of a cad, but for my money, he's one of the best romantic leads in all those corny movies you don't want to admit you like. Take Music and Lyrics. He plays a washed up pop singer who meets amateur lyricist Drew Barrymore, and they both fall in love with while writing songs together. (Awwww!) Here, Hugh is funny, charming and sexy. Good luck getting the song unstuck outta your head, though!

Valentine's Day Striptease

GiggleSugar — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 11:30:00 -0800

Some women like to strip for their lovers on Valentine's Day. So why not reverse the favor? Well, here's one reason.

Get Flash to see this player.

Dish! What's the Most Romantic Thing Anyone's Ever Done For You?

GiggleSugar — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 11:00:00 -0800

I don't agree with the premise of the book Porn For Women, which is that women get turned on by dudes who "help" them do housework. But I do believe in romance. What's the most romantic/and or cutest thing anyone's ever done for you?

Not Your Average Love Song

GiggleSugar — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 10:00:00 -0800

Any love song that makes a "Chocolate Rain" shout-out is cool by me. Our dude must have had a lot of time and candy hearts on his hands, cuz this love ditty is cleverly written and fun to watch. From unibrows to Wal-Mart, boyfriend sings of it all. And when he proclaims that his special someone is "beautiful without beer goggles," you just know— this is true love. . .

Product of the Day: Q-Pig the Rapping Valentine's Pig

GiggleSugar — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 09:00:00 -0800

Q-Pig/Cupid. . .get it? Oink oink, check it out.

We Go Together Like. . .

GiggleSugar — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 08:00:00 -0800

The 'cuffs are to restrain us from consuming too much of that chocolate all at once, I presume.

(Want some? Enter the GiggleSugar V-Day chocolate-for-a-year giveaway! The contest ends today, so get a move on. And sorry, 'cuffs don't come with the package.)

Source

Sexy Beast of the Day: Maury "Who's Your Daddy?" Povich

GiggleSugar — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 07:00:00 -0800

In addition to those graying good looks and sexy turtle neck sweaters, Maury Povich is the MacDaddy of paternity testing. Is there anything more attractive than a man who has devoted his life to helping the hoards of not-so-sure parents out there? He may make a show of getting their facts straight, but it's the thought — and blood work! — that counts. This Valentine's Day, GiggleSugar is saluting you, Maury Povich, for being the Godfather of all (99.9% confirmed) Father Figures and for bringing out the "You are the Baby Daddy" boogie in people. It's a tough job and you do it almost too well, but that's why we heart you.

Get Flash to see this player.

Found! Love Notes and Other Secrets

GiggleSugar — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 04:00:00 -0800

Post Secret is one of those "why didn't I think of that?" ideas. Some dude reasoned that he could get the truth and secrets outta people by way of having them tell it to a postcard. He initially asked folks in his area to drop their anonymous unmentionables in the mail and it didn't take long for the project to spread like wildfire. He now receives hoards of mail from across the globe on a daily basis and the following vid is a compilation of all the love-related tidbits. Some are high and some are low, but that's the madness of love. Sigh. . .

What's Your Favorite Sappy Love Song?

GiggleSugar — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 03:00:00 -0800

You know you have a song you're embarrassed to admit you love. Well, it's Valentine's Day, so be shameless! What's your favorite sappy love song? 1. I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight by Cutting Crew 2. I'm All Out of Love by Air Supply 3. Old Lang Syne by Dan Fogelberg 4. I Do Cherish You by 98 Degrees 5. Sometimes When We Touch by Dan Hill 6. Thank You by Dido 7. Babylon by David Gray 8. I Honestly Love You by Olivia Newton-John 9. Open Arms by Journey

Anti-Valentine's Day Candies

GiggleSugar — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 02:00:00 -0800

If you want to get rid of your Valentine's love, there's no surer way to do it than to give her/him any of these gross candies. Cuz nothing says, "I hate you" like ear wax candy. And that's just the tip of the ~~iceberg~~ yuck-fest.

French Cat Wishes the Ladies Happy Valentine's Day!

GiggleSugar — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 01:00:00 -0800

This is how it's done, folks! It's no accident the French (even French cats!) are known for being geniuses at love. Would a little sweet talkin' kill you boys now and then! Grab a pen and take some notes.

Sexy Beast of the Day: Jemaine Clement From Flight of the Conchords

GiggleSugar — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 13:00:00 -0800

Am I crazy to think that Jemaine Clement of the New Zealand duo Flight of the Conchords is a hunk-a-hunk of burning love? With a face that's a cross between Benicio del Toro, the Incredible Hulk, and Mick Jagger, he defines Sexy Beast. Oh, yeah, and he's hilarious!

Harsh, Dude!

GiggleSugar — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 07:00:00 -0800

Oh, man. The Onion can be ruthless. This fake news clip kinda tells it like it is, I gotta say. Online dating SUCKS. I'd rather be rejected by someone I have the hots for in the real world than some loser online, though. That's what passes for optimism these days, folks — Happy one-day-before Valentine's Day!

Sexy Beast of the Day: Thom Yorke of Radiohead

GiggleSugar — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 12:30:00 -0800

Give me a talented (and brooding) man with non-Brad Pitt looks and I'm a-swoonin'. Thom, if you're reading this, please be my Valentine. I don't think you're a creep. I'll dump Hasselhoff for you — fast. Just say the word.

Cute Alert: Valentine the Piglet

GiggleSugar — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 13:00:00 -0800

Valentine the 10-day-old piglet was born just in time for Valentine's Day, complete with heart-shaped spots! I heart Valentine the piglet. Read more about her here.

Still Need a V-Day Gift for Him?

GiggleSugar — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 10:00:00 -0800

Ladies, your search is over. This Valentine's Day, why not get the manly man you love an "A-1 Steak Sauce" Mandle? If red meat (or bacon!) isn't his thing, then how about the sweet smell of "Chuck Norris Sweat" or the rank of a "Musty Locker Room"? Mandles are candles made uniquely for men, with one percent wax and ninety-nine percent testosterone. All macho mumbo-jumbo aside, I wouldn't mind having me some "Fried Chicken" Mandle burning around the house. Mmm-hmm.

Sexy Beast of the Day: David Hasselhoff

GiggleSugar — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 09:00:00 -0800

Step right up for a hot cup of Hoffee! A countdown to Valentine's Day wouldn't be complete without a romantic video depicting a middle aged guy attempting to entice women half his age to jump into his car. You gotta love Hoff's hip thrusts, bedroom eyes, and air guitar, though. Right? Now I know why he's so big in Germany. Rrreow!

Sexy Beast of the Day: Average Homeboy Blazin' Hazen

GiggleSugar — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 03:00:00 -0800

A few of you were puzzled yesterday when taking our Valentine's Day giveaway quiz: who the blaze is Blazin' Hazen? Well — long story short — he was a wannabe rapper in 1990 when he made the following demo. He may have already been an Internet sensation by the time we found him, but we like to think of him as our very own. He's a homeboy, def. But "average"? Hardly.

Sexy Beast Flashback: Rod Stewart "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?"

GiggleSugar — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 13:30:00 -0800

The answer, Rod, is yes — yes I do! No Valentine's Day countdown would be complete without Rod, but for me, Rod singing "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?" was the apex of this sexy beast's hotness. Rrrreow!

My Bloody Valentine

GiggleSugar — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 01:00:00 -0800

Valentine's Day may have come and gone already, but I'm wishing a sweetie had gotten me these truly tasteless earrings. Can you imagine the sort of uncomfortable silence they would inspire in an elevator? Yikes. (Thanks, Geek!)

Source

Post V-Day Recap: Love Stinks

GiggleSugar — Thu, 15 Feb 2007 08:00:00 -0800

Holy Hershey's, V-Day has come and gone--which means singletons can begin to feel good about themselves again. Not only is it an alienating day for lots of folks, but it's a manufactured day of love for those who actually "celebrate" it. Don't agree? Consult with The Wedding Singer.

Cupid Raps Up A Hard Day's Work

GiggleSugar — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 16:00:00 -0800

Cupid can't dance, but he sure can rap! And I'm warning you now, his rhymes reveal some major anger issues, which would be fine...if the overgrown cherub didn't insist on carrying that bow-and-arrow around all the damn time. Watch. Your. Back.

Joker Asks Fast Food Workers: What Do You Love?

GiggleSugar — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 15:00:00 -0800

This whole experiment is strangely affecting...

Dr. Pepper Commercial Asks: Would He Do Anything For Love?

GiggleSugar — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 14:00:00 -0800

The answer? Well, Giggle's asking the question, so what do think? (Thanks for the tip, AdFreak!)

It's Not Just Valentine's Day, It's Hump Day!

GiggleSugar — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 13:00:00 -0800

Enough with Valentine's Day already! I don't know about all you fools in love, but I'm simply celebrating today for what it is: Hump Day. Who doesn't love Hump Day?

Valentine's Day Hamster Dance

GiggleSugar — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 10:51:13 -0800

It's been a little doom and gloom over here cuz of Valentine's so I thought I'd throw in a little hamster joy your way. Apparently, everyone's seen this but me, yet I imagine that it's worth a second viewing (or third or 100th). I know I will not get the hamster song out of my head all day, and that's a good thing!

Otto the Cat Is Looking For Love in All the Wrong Places

GiggleSugar — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 10:38:46 -0800

Otto the feral cat from Brooklyn speaks in a computer voice, quotes liberally from German philosopher Walter Benjamin and Balki from the sitcom Perfect Strangers, and ventures online in a quest for love. Not sure how to explain what happens after that, so you'll have to see for yourself.

Cupid Gives A Valentine's Pole Dance

GiggleSugar — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 04:00:00 -0800

Cute little Cupid is all grown up and striptastic these days, but from the looks of this audition, I wouldn't let His Royal Moobness touch my love life with a ten foot...pole.

Your Last Ditch Eligible Bachelor Du Jour

GiggleSugar — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 03:00:00 -0800

It's Valentine's Day. Still single? Well, step right up--we got one bitter bachelor ripe and ready for the taking. Although he never openly admits his loner status, his monologue screams "single," not to mention all the time he has on his hands to b*tch and groan about all the lovin' he's obviously hard up for. He comes with a knack for annoyingly over-dramatic ways of expressing himself and a hunky pair of specs. Bow-chica-bow-wow. Any takers?

Valentine's Quote of the Day

GiggleSugar — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 02:00:00 -0800

"Valentine's Day is like herpes: just when you think it's gone for good, it rears its ugly head once more. No wonder some people prefer to call it VD."

(Thanks for sending this heart-warming message to us, nannychica!)

Source

A Spelling Bee Between "Friends"

GiggleSugar — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 01:00:00 -0800

The two judging this spelling bee were obviously a couple at some point in time and have now reunited to not-so-subtly spell out the frustrations that ended the affair. Since when are the words "bitch and moan" and "jackass" fit to be spelled? ...Since the day he stung her and she buzzed off. That's when.

You + Him + Camera (+ Mom?)= A Valentine's To Remember

GiggleSugar — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 14:32:02 -0800

Folks, this is how NOT to send a Valentine's video gram to your long-distance sweetheart. Sexy time should not be family time. Try keeping Mom out of the romance equation by remembering to lock the bedroom door. And if all else fails, instead of rushing to de-flower yourself, you could always rush an order for flower delivery. It's all the same to him, right? (And I'm sure Mom could help with that too.)

Another Eligible Bachelor Du Jour

GiggleSugar — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 13:00:00 -0800

Ringing all sexy, single ladies! Luke calls it his "experiment," but we all know that this dude is sweatin' for a Valentine's sweetheart. So dial up those digits and in your sexiest phone voice ask Luke to be yours this Wednesday. (Hey Luke, here's my message: trim your bangs, bro.)

Eligible Bachelor Du Jour

GiggleSugar — Fri, 09 Feb 2007 13:00:00 -0800

Don't say I never gave you anything. This is for all you desperate ladies out there who can't be alone on Valentine's. This is what's left. Maybe it's just my hyper-critical nature, but with all the varieties of wrong this dude's displaying, my eagle eye went straight to his bad case of dandruff.

Source

Valentine's Day: Time To Let The Cat Out Of The Bag?

GiggleSugar — Fri, 09 Feb 2007 10:24:03 -0800

Valentine's Day is right around the corner. Do you know who you're spending it with? As in, do you really know everything there is to know about your partner? ...Just asking.

Quote of the Day: John Waters (Valentine's Edition)

GiggleSugar — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 00:00:00 -0800

Our Countdown to Valentine's Day continues with ideas about romance from one of the most twisted guys around. Director of such cult classics as "Pink Flamingos" and "Female Trouble," John Waters also happens to be a romantic in his own special way. Here he is describing his idea of the perfect date in Bust magazine:

"I always thought a glamorous date would be robbing a 7-Eleven with somebody...I wouldn't do that, but I love the idea of doing it and then running and then, like, having a couple drinks and counting the money and having sex. That would be a fun night."